this time

ran into you yesterday
memories rushed thru my brain
its starting to hit me
now your not with me
i realized i made a mistake
thought that i needed some space
just let love go to waste
its so crystal clear, i need you here .

...this time, i still don't know if i want it all.

i love you., but not really.

I wanna be a virgin again ...

new new.

i won't make it any further with you on my back ...

so .... i'm on to something new
but the new can't see whats standing here
right in front of it
willing to disregard titles
i just wanna lie in the prescence of this newness
yet i know your not willing to do this
but i still im not able walk away
cause' you see ... the connection was too strong
short lived, maybe.
but beyond magnectic.
for those few moments, our eclectic souls met and touched one another
so like dust , please don't blow me over the edge
linger here a little longer ...
my something new.

the only reason I'll ever turn back.

newly discoverd

So I've been dreaming of ways to make better days

Brainstorming schemes to illustrate fresh scenes that portray what this life of mine really means But by the end, I always find myself stuck

Planted in a muck full of ideas that are fucked because they never had a chance from the beginning

But while living in this constant state of confusion, under my own delusions,I came to the conclusion

That all I really need is some music

Music that can enslave my mind, while positively captivating my membranes and then when the song is over I'm still subjected to its orgasmic rhythms, creschendoes and tempos

Lyrics that paint my life so perfectly on a canvas, with my fears and dreams splashed in shades of grays and yellows

Upbeat or mellow

You see, although it is a major necessity, its not all that I need

Give me some poetry

First a blank surface and a pen or a pencil I call those two my favorite utensils

However I hardly eat my words, but yet I feed them to you

And all the words I speak are life lived experiences, making them true

Bestow me with eloquent adjectives so that I may attempt to put you in the know of my highs and lows

And then an listening ear that can withstand my passion and how far it goes

While I'm delievering my words

Can I lay amongst the air while you speak them softly back to me?

Can we actually ... roam somewhere higher than the first atmosphere,and if we can't make it that far lets just roam somewhere near , dwelling in a place amongst peace and more peace

Put my words on repeat and the world on pause

I'm seeking to be temporarily lost with a cause

Willing to rebel on the brink of hell

Cause' in times of stress ... I need to live a little

So I'm no longer stuck in the middle

I'm done seeking the complexities for now

And I'm welcoming simplicity and proclaiming my freedom out aloud

You see I am a black bird

Illuminated by a five pointed star

Content .. and ready to take flight.