thoughtsinfiltratingmybrain.

I've been thinking about alot of things lately. My life. Closing a chapter and struggling to open up another. I guess sometimes in life we're forced into making dreaded alterations, but things happen. So now, I'm constantly pondering, going back and forth about where my heart is. Its not where it was. And I don't plan ever turning back. Its moving towards something, something thats been here all along. But I don't know how to call it. Will things remain the way that they are? ... Or will they progress into something unexpected yet anticipated. I'm here, in the midst of my own confusion because I'm not even sure how to label my emotions. I'm ready ... yet hesitant. And somedays, I find myself down & out about the wounds I have from the past, and yes its true, they are still healing. Faster and faster each day. Soon I'll have beautiful scars. But back to the present ... I guess I'll give "it" a pronoun. HE doesn't know it, I'd rather not show it. But he left my mind for a while, for I thought we werent us anymore. But now he's back. And constantly on my mental. And my heart .. its heavy. Because I have to keep it all inside, because if I express it, I'm afraid he'll stray. A friend he is to me. This magnectic connection is something I've never experienced before. I see the me in him, and he sees the him and me. ... I'm not asking for anything major, just a little assurance, maybe some recognition. But until then, I'll be living life. Letting it flow like a stream.